A Break.

Sometimes that's all I need. No, not a 15 minute break to breathe some fresh air, but a good long break from my every day life of motherhood/ housewife.

Every year since my mom moved here 20 some years ago she went to the Greens Show at the fairgrounds. This falls the first weekend of December and every year my Aunt and Grandma came down to join her for the craft show. When I finally came of age to join them without driving my mom crazy by running around and screaming and crying, I was overjoyed! I felt like one of the adults! Unfortunately my Grandma suffered from bad hips so after one walk up an aisle of booths she needed to stop and take a break, so my mom and Aunt went back down the aisle to make sure they didn't miss anything. After doing this with them 2 or 3 times I would get bored and take off on my own. Every year we did this, and every year we came away with hand made gifts, tasty homemade candies, and lots of laughs and memories.
Once I started high school my annual trips to the Greens Show came to a halt. For those who live in the Salem/Keizer school district this makes complete sense. Snoball. The girl-asks-boy formal winter dance happened to fall on the same weekend as the greens show, so for those 4 years I skipped the trip with mom, Aunt, and Grandma. This was unfortunate. My senior year of high school my Grandma didn't attend the Greens Show eiteher. She was in the midst of losing a fight with colon cancer. Aunt came down and went with mom then to the church's Christmas program, and I dressed up and went out with the boy, and had a blast.
Of course, the following December I had a little 3 month old, but I rejoined the fun and went to the Greens Show! This was great....except I had the little 3 month old who required a lot of attention making the shopping a challenge. SooooI skipped the following year! Then last December I took my newly - reacquainted best friend J with me to the Greens Show! This once again wasn't the same however, because this time I was pregnant. Nothing is wrong with pregnancy, now! I just got tired really easy and, like Grandma, felt the need to sit down a lot.
So, December of 2009 comes around, and I plan to go to the Greens Show with mom, Aunt, and J all at the same time. Its been forever! The night before I'm so very excited to have a break from both of my kids, hubby will stay home with them for as long as I need!.....
Around 6 in the morning hubby gets up to fix the fire, and hurts his neck.
I knew from the moment it happened that my day was not going to go as planned. I was able to go to the Greens Show, but spent a lot of time texting back and forth, and less than 2 hours in had to come home. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't mind helping my hubby when he needed me, but the disapointment of losing the freedom was horrible. Through this past week I've struggled, needed to get some space, and felt simply depressed. Until now
Hubby, amazing hubby agreed to take both of the boys grocery shopping (not something ANYONE would ever want to do) and dropped me off here. The Governor's Cup in downtown Salem. Listening to people talk, the smell of coffee and goodies, music quietly playing in the background. It's tranquil. I am alone. No whining, crying, nose-wiping, schooltime, snacks, diapers, spilled juice, broken toys, and repeated questions of "Why?" and "can I watch a movie?" and may I have something to drink?" Just me. My computer and some yummy eggnog chai. Alone.
Alone.

First

I remember my first kiss almost vividly.

It was Friday October 24th of my sophomore year of high school. The cutest guy in the whole school had asked me to be his girlfriend, and I practically said “Heck yes!” There was a home game for the varsity football team that night, and because it was so cold I grabbed my favorite blanket and headed out the door. I met my new bf and we found our seats. Unfortunately the spots behind us didn’t fill up fast enough and soon appeared my brother Luke and his friend Erik. Normally this would have been fine, but since they knew that I was with my boyfriend they had to undertake the task of yelling “hand check” every two minutes. Oh joy. I can’t remember what team we played against or who won the game that night because I was so distracted by his hand, so warm holding mine. I felt like I was on top of the world, or at least at the top of the stands! And nothing really mattered because I had a boyfriend, and I just might get my first kiss tonight.

My house at the time was only two blocks away from the school, which meant a quick walk home from the game. However, the boyfriend and I walked slowly; my blanket wrapped around me, plus the warmth and weight of his arm around my waist. The closer we got to my back gate, the more nervous I got. What if I have bad breath? What if I can’t kiss right? What if I chicken out, or start laughing? We approached the little grassy patch next to the garage and I stood on it, raised 2 feet from the sidewalk. We wasted awkward time with small talk and said how we’d miss each other over the weekend, yada yada. Finally I said an extremely uncomfortable “well, good night,” and turned to walk inside, but my arm was grabbed, I was turned around, and the most glorious smile pulled me in.

I have no idea what outfit he was wearing, nor do I remember what I was wearing, but I can’t forget the smile on his face. His head was slightly cocked to the left, his flamed beanie on tight. He held my hands and gave me courage. When he pulled me in for my first kiss, I was on cloud nine! I remember walking through the back door, mumbling something to my mom about the game, and then running past my brother and his friend to avoid being questioned. I will never forget how warm I felt in his arms, and how safe it was to be held.

I’m confident that no matter how old I get, and how much time passes me in life, I won’t forget his beautiful green eyes and shining smile. The first kiss on that cool night was the beginning of something amazing, something that I could never have expected. Who’d have known: I married the man that gave me my first kiss!

Lowering A Crib Mattress Is A B-Word

Since we have the same crib/mattress/box spring that we used with Grayson, I have put together, taken apart, adjusted, lifted, lowered, and tightened it many times. I have been realizing for a couple of weeks now that the mattress needed to be lowered again for Kendrick since he has begun to pull to a stand and otherwise climb on anything around him that is wobbly and unsafe. At first my excuse for not lowering it yet was that I needed the Allan wrench to make the adjustment and didn’t know where it was in the garage. Then Brent brought a toolbox in that had a whole load of the things. The problem now was remembering to adjust the darned thing! Nearly every time Kendrick or Grayson was napping or after I laid them down at night I would remember with an angry grunt that I hadn’t done the chore. Then when Kendrick would wake up I ran into his room in fear that he would fall out of the crib and break an arm or crack his skull open on impact with the floor. So, finally, I remembered before putting the kiddos to bed, and grabbed the toolbox.

In the past when lowering the spring-thing, I took the blankets, toys, animals and mattress off before setting to work, thinking that it would help immensely. But this time I figured what the heck? It shouldn’t be that hard! By golly it’ll be easier if I don’t have to take all that crap off and then put it back on! Therefore I set to work. I unscrewed the first of the four screws without the slightest problem! But, with the second one, as soon as the screw was out, my ankle (which was under the crib due to the way I was sitting on the floor) was in agony! The stinking thing fell down fast and hard and landed on my poor, unfortunate foot. I was so mad! But, I ignored the aching pain and started turning the screws into the new holes as far as they would go before moving to the other side.

So off to the other end of the crib I went. This time the first screw came out a little harder, because of the weight from the other side. Thankfully I had expected this and it didn’t faze me much. After pulling the crib out a foot or two, I then climbed part way behind it and situated myself into an awkward position on the floor in the corner between the wall and the crib; with little light. This screw proved to be the most difficult to turn. Because of the weight from the three other corners that were pulling down, I had to counter it and lift with my free hand. Not an easy task when you’re in an awkward position on the floor in the corner between the crib and the wall. But I prevailed! After a lot of effort, I got the stupid screw out. Now it was time to get the holes matched up and the screw replaced. First, I had to lower the thing to the correct spot. Oh dear. My hands apparently aren’t small enough (even though my wedding ring is size 4 ¼) and I couldn’t figure how to get past one piece of the crib without having an extra joint between my wrist and elbow. So I tried doing the exact same thing 3 times, tried something different, and then got a horrible leg cramp. This leg cramp was seriously horrid. Because of my awkward sitting position on the floor in the corner between the crib and the wall, and because of the fact that the spring thing was only partly screwed in on one end and being held up by my crushed hand on the other, I had no way of kicking out this leg cramp. I squirmed and hit it. I shook my leg and stretched it. But this stupid position wasn’t giving me anything. Therefore I did the worst possible thing: I ignored it.

While trying to ignore the ridiculous pain in my left upper thigh, I finally got the holes matched up and the screw in tight. Thus, I began the tormenting process of standing up. Let me remind you that this was not easy because of the awkward position I was sitting in on the floor in the corner between the crib and the wall, and also the leg cramp that had grown more painful and was tightening uncomfortably. But I somehow made it to a fully upright position once again. I climbed out from my weird spot, and sat down to replace the screw from the other side of this end. This screw was amazingly simple! And after returning the crib to its rightful resting place, I returned to the first end to tighten the screws that had awaited me. 40 minutes after starting this “project” of lowering the crib mattress spring thing, I was sore and finished.

I hope you’re happy Kendrick. I just saved your life from the possibility of pulling yourself to a stand and then falling out of the crib because your mattress was at the topmost setting. You’re welcome.